Car Wash
by LaylaBinx
Summary: Washing your car shouldn't be erotic. However, when said car keeps playing nothing but sexy love songs it's kinda hard to dismiss the idea. Pure humor intended, nothing graphic! Rated for pervy Bumblebee. BumblebeeSam


**God! I've had so many of these little one shots pop into my head over the last few days! I seriously love this movie! Anyway, my best friend and I were talking and she mentioned what it might be like if Bumblebee ever had to go to a car wash. The thought of him fighting the mechanical arms of a car wash made me giggle and smile like a little kid all day. Anyway, hope you like it!!**

Bumblebee shook and shuddered all over the place as Sam sprayed him with the water hose. The engine made a disapproving grumble but Sam ignored it.

"Well, I'm sorry. But you're covered in mud and seeing as how you flat out refuse to let me take you to a car wash, I'll have to do it myself." By "flat out refuse", Sam meant Bumblebee killed the engine and sat in the middle of an intersection for 20 minutes during rush hour traffic. Try having to explain that your car was pouting to a bunch of pissed off commuters.

Instead, he opted for the often used "it stalled out" excuse and shrugged helplessly as person after person drove by and hailed him with the one-finger salute. A few good Samaritans offered to take him to an auto shop to get his car looked at. (seeing as how they couldn't believe a 2007 Camero would just "stall out") Sam politely declined but seriously considered it just for the fact that he knew Bumblebee would be miffed if Sam willing let someone touch him other than him.  
Not only that but they had been to car wash once before. What had been a semi-normal event for Sam turned out to be an almost full out battle between Bumblebee and the car wash. He got pissed, half-way transformed and was ready to rip the little sponges off the poles before Sam managed to run into the small space and talk him down. Luckily, no one had seen his car transforming into a bright yellow robot but what they had seen was an 18-year old boy running into a mechanical car wash going full blast and subsequently getting soaked with hot water and suds.  
So, needless to say, a trip to the local car wash was completely out of the question. Sam filled a bucket with warm water and enough soap to soak a slip-and-slide. He dropped a sponge into the waiting bucket and walked over to the car, sizing up how much work was about to go into getting his car cleaned. Bumblebee acted exactly like a large, mechanical dog when it came time for a bath. He shook, shivered, and trembled all over, sending large droplets of water across the pavement. However, unlike a dog, Bee had the amazing ability to send water clear across the street and onto the neighbor's windows causing them to wonder how it could be raining outside on a cloudless day.  
After giving him a full spray down, Sam reached into the bucket and retrieved the soapy sponge, wringing it out and pressing it against the car door. He scrubbed gently, breaking away the mud and dirt that had caked onto the said. The familiar static of the radio switching on caused him to listen but not look up.  
_"Love, the kind you clean up with a mop and bucket."_

Sam laughed in spite of himself. "Bloodhound Gang? Nice." He dipped his sponge back in the water, moving onto the hood as the song played on for a few more minutes. Using smooth, even strokes, Sam carefully and gently cleaned the hood of the car, taking care to get all the dirt off but remain gentle at the same time.

The engine rumbled softly in an almost satisfied hum. Sam smiled, rinsing the dirty water from the hood. "Glad you're enjoying it."

"_Toucha toucha toucha touch me. I want to be dirty. Thrill me, chill me, fulfill me…" _

This caused more than a little bit of an eyebrow raise. Sam dipped the sponge back in the water, watching his car the whole time. "Something wrong?" he asked, smirking as the Camero shuddered.

Soap suds splattered across Sam's clothes, soaking through his shirt. "Aw, that's great. You happy now?"

"_Baby you make me happy"_ Christina Aguilera confessed through the radio.

The teen laughed at the music choice and continued on with his project. It seemed the more he washed, the more suggestive the song that came on. The radio switched continuously from "I'll make love to you", "Let's get it on", "Sexy back", "Sexual attention" and several other songs of that nature.

Finally, when Sam was blushing so bad he could hardly stand it, he dropped the sponge into the bucket and planted his hands on the hood of the car. "Bee, there something I should know about?"

_"I wanna lover with dirty mind!"_

His cheeks flushed scarlet and he laughed at the sheer boldness of the statement. "So, this whole time, while I've been washing you…you've been getting…?"  
_"That's the way, uh huh uh huh! I like it!"_

Well, that answered that question. Still blushing, Sam picked up the water hose and carefully rinsed off the remaining water. Once again, Bumblebee shook like an enormous yellow dog but he hummed contentedly, letting out a long sigh as the boy gently caressed his hood.  
Sam dried off the windshield, smiling as the engine hummed beneath him like a cat purring. "So…was it good for you?"  
To answer his question, a slightly more innocent song belted out of the speakers.  
_"I feel good…I knew that I would….So good, so good. I got you!"_

The teen smirked, dumping the water into the grass. "Didn't know I need to pick up smoking just so I could wash my car every once in a while."

**Heh, sorry for that last comment but I have a friend who became a smoker just because of that very thing. Kinda sad really ;) Hope you enjoyed it!**


End file.
